Mini-psychoses? Or just maudlin?

One danger of being an emotional basketcase due to this whole dog-fostering thing is that a person might just be having kind of mini-psychotic breaks in which she feels that various things out there in the world are talking to her. In particular, iTunes. In particular particular, song lyrics.

As I'm listening to my iTunes 'five star' playlist of my current favorite tunes, my attention keeps being caught by song lyrics that seem to be directed at me and my feelings toward Roxie and the puppies. For example:

Willie Nelson, from the song 'Will you remember mine':

I have sat 'neath the trees while the cool summer breeze
blew away the sands of time
and thought of days when you were there,
remembering when you were mine.'
Gone are the times that I held you,
held your hand in mine
now when you hold another's hand,
will you remember mine?

(NOTE: I do realize that puppies don't have hands. But 'paws' doesn't work so well in a song lyric, I think. )

The Reindeer Section, from the song 'Budapest':

His little hand round my thumb
Makes me warm and numb
I hold my breath and smile
and hope it stays for a while

The Field Mice, from the song 'Willow':

Don't you
Go thinking
I never did
Love you

There are more. But I shouldn't obsess about this - right?

The other part of fostering ...

One of the reasons I feel so drained after today is that today is the day that I sent out the 'adoptable puppies' message to as many listservs and friends as I could think of. And we've had two people so far express an interest in adopting a puppy.

Which makes real to me the fact that we're going to have to give these puppies up. Which is the right thing to do, and what we both agree we HAVE to do. But it's going to be so hard. We are just not emotionally equipped to give dogs up - it goes against everything we feel we want to do. So, the next few weeks are going to be full of tears as well as delights.

*Sniff*

Notes on puppy fostering during monsoons

So, today has been quite a day. Since the last post, the puppies have been growing cuter and bigger and more playful and interactive by the hour, it seems. This is good - but it also brings the possibility of trouble, because they can get into things they shouldn't, and get out of things they should stay in. Like as of today, both Pan and Iorek know how to get out of the dog door. But neither knows how to get back in.

For a long time, Iorek has had this ability - and we've had to keep the pups shut up in their puppy pen at night to make sure he doesn't get out and get stuck. There are owls and hawks who might be able to take a puppy his size, and there's cactus and various other scary stuff out there.

Well, with the monsoons it's nicer during the days - especially mornings and evenings - and these puppies are starting to want to explore more. So we may have to just start shutting them in the pen unless we're there to monitor them. Which will be hard, because they still want to nurse sometimes, and we're not going to lock Roxie in the pen with them. That wouldn't be fair to her. On the other hand, it might help them to figure out that they can stop nursing, and they'll be fine. They're awfully toothy for poor Roxie at this point. But we don't want them to be traumatized by being forced to stop nursing before they, and Roxie, are ready for that.

And the other exciting thing about monsoons is that they have winds, and winds can sometimes knock down the barrier that we put up to keep Roxie from climbing out of the yard. This afternoon we had quite a strong monsoon. Lots of rain, even some hail, and strong winds. Tonight, as John left to go climbing, and I went up for my first post-workday puppy snuggle, I found that Roxie was not in the yard at all. I went out in front of the house, and she came running up to me having been somewhere up the street with Dash and Dot. She came right back into the yard with me just fine, luckily. She's such a good girl about coming when she's called!

As you would expect on a rainy day, she was MUDDY and WET. But what you might not expect is that she smelled like she'd been rolling around in more than one dead thing. Very, very, very, very stinky. And if you touched her, YOU were that stinky.

So, I decided that we needed an emergency bath. I found a recipe for de-stinkifying dog shampoo on the web (hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and a little bit of liquid soap, recommended for skunk stink removal), whipped it up, and set things up for a dog bath.

This meant putting our other dogs outside, filling the bathtub a few inches with warm water, getting a bucket and some towels ready, and then seeing how things would go. Luckily, Roxie is so agreeable you can even lift her up into a tub of water and scrub her down, and she won't even try that hard to get out. There was a HUGE amount of stinky dirt that came off that dog, but I don't know that she'd been 100% de-stinkified. And I'm worried that she might be itchy as a result of the bath - she was already having a fair amount of itchiness before all this.

But, the bath went fine. And hopefully, we'll be able to continue heading off any disasters as the pups, and Roxie, test us more and more.

Puppy Video 6 - We Still Need Mom

This is evidence that even though the puppies can eat their solid food, nothing's quite as good as good old Mom!

Puppy Video 5 - Four Weeks Old

The puppies turned 4 weeks old today - and they are doing great. They've started eating solid food, which is made by soaking dry puppy chow with water and warming it all in the microwave. We call it 'puppy gruel', and it seems disgusting to me - but they love it.

In this video, Iorek and Pan are getting snuggles from me, and wrestling each other.

Puppy Video 4 - Puppy Tussle!

The puppies are doing a lot more wrestling and playing with each other as they grow - here's a typical puppy tussle from the 3 week old phase of puppyhood.

Puppy Video 3 - Pan and Iorek and Roxie

The puppies are three weeks old, and are getting more and more coordinated and interested in playing and being social. They are changing so quickly now, and just getting cuter and cuter!

Puppy Video 2 - Iorek's Nursing Nightmare!

And this video features little Iorek, and a puppy's first priority: getting lots and lots of milk. Don't worry - his nightmare ends with the Tail Of Ecstasy, so I guess it isn't really a nightmare at all.

Puppy Video 1 - Pan's Long Journey

So, *please* disregard the ugly background - the room that the puppies are in was trashed by Hap and Cato back in the day, and we've not fixed it. But here's a video of the puppies (now named Pantalaimon and Iorek, after characters in the Phillip Pullman trilogy 'His Dark Materials') at about 12 days old. Pan is trying to get to Roxie, where Iorek is already having his lunch.

Dash and Dot

Just wanted to add photos of Dot (top) and Dash (below) so you could see why Roxy wants to go out there each day. They're sweet!

Pupdate one week later

So it's been one week since the emergency vet visit, and hence the beginning of our pupcare adventure. The surviving pups seem to be doing great - John describes them as 'inflating', they're growing so fast. And they are very, very cute, as you can see.

Roxy is also doing well, but now we have a different kind of problem. Dash and Dot, Roxy's pups from her January litter, are lurking around the house with Haku and the rest of the pack. Which is good - at least we can be sure that they're getting food and water. But Roxy clearly wants to be with them, and they won't be caught.

So what happens is that each morning, at sunrise, Roxy finds a way to dig/climb/?? out of the yard and have time with Dash and Dot. Yesterday, they all came home at around 6:30, sauntering down the street from the direction of the elementary school, all wet from the belly down as if they'd found a wading pool to play in. This morning, they were down in the wash with Haku, who had to fetch them when I called, as they weren't paying attention.

I've tried to eliminate her escape routes - and I can't for the life of me figure out how she got out this morning. Plus, I sympathize with her need to be with her other pups. I just don't know how much of a problem this may turn out to be - esp. if she decides she doesn't need to stay around after these pups are weaned. You have to wait 4 weeks after she's done nursing in order to get her spayed - and we need to be sure she's spayed before she has yet another litter in '07!

And so far, I've called her back each morning. I don't know whether/when she'd come back on her own, though I suspect she would. She always happily follows me right back to the yard, and into her doggy door as soon as I find her in the am.

Sad day for the pups, new puppy pen

Pup 4 died this morning, sometime between the 4am and the 6am feedings. I don't know what was the immediate cause, but he had been coughing some blood. Maybe he aspirated some of the milk, or maybe his body just gave up. Roxie and I were both very upset, and we had a little cry together.

Last night Roxy also had a little incident with John - he was snuggling her, and she suddenly whipped her head around as if to bite. She didn't bite him, but she smacked him real hard with her head, and gave him a small cut and a bruise. It happened lightning fast, and without any growling or snarling - and it seemed to confuse Roxy almost as much as it confused us. Afterwards, she went back to being easy-going and letting us go on with our business, though she kinda gave us the 'what the heck?' expression for a while. Goes to show you that you never know what might trigger a strange dog - and she's always been more afraid of John than of me. Probably b/c he's a dude. So, we need to be vigilant and careful with her.

Anyway, after that we both agreed that I should continue pup care, and John shouldn't have to do all the overnight feedings (though he was willing to do them, shiner and all).

This morning, after I buried pup 4 in a quiet, shady spot by the wash, I decided to go to PetSmart and get a whelping pen of some kind. Just a pen to restrict the movements of the pups in the room upstairs, so that we can be sure they're always on a nice, clean, safe surface. But when I walked to the truck, Roxie met me by the *front* of the house. Hm. She had dug out under the fence. But she was happy to go back into the yard, and I piled up stones in the area that she'd dug out, and talked with her about that we really needed her to stay close by and that she shouldn't do that anymore.

I went to the PetSmart and got the little pen (we'll leave the little gate open so Roxie can come and go, but the pups are safe). It's the kind pictured here. Roxy and the pups were in their room when I got home to help me put it together. They are now sacked out up there, the pups having had a nice drink of milk (on their own, from their momma).

Pupdate Day 3

So things have been going along with little change since yesterday. Every 2-3 hours there's a visit with Roxie and her pups, and a pup 4 feeding while the other two nurse. At the 3 & 5am feedings this morning, pup 4 seemed to be making a breakthrough - he could find a nipple himself, and he knew that when he found one he should open his little mouth and try to grab it - but his little grabber muscles still weren't working correctly, or else he didn't really know to use them. So, he was on the verge of nursing on his own. But since then today he seems to have really regressed, and the last two feedings he's been kind of a limp noodle. He's continuing to take swallows of milk from the syringe, but not much, and not with much enthusism.

I'm guessing/hoping that his body just needs more time to heal and recover - if we can buy him time by keeping him going for a few more days, maybe that'll do the trick and he'll come back to being a (semi-?) normal puppy. Both vets have told us that it's just a wait-and-see situation; nothing more can really be done for him other than making sure he gets milk every few hours.

I'm going to be posting a few more puppy photos that I took today. Pups 2 and 3 are becoming plump little tanks of lovable puppiosity - each of them is nursing great, and often, and putting on lots of weight. It's easy when you're so worried about one to kind of not notice and enjoy the rest - I'm trying to be sure to take more time with each of them, and also make time in each visit just to focus on Roxy and give her lots of loves and pets. She's such a good girl!

Aftermath Pupdate 4

T=2:00pm, and all is well.

We did call our regular veterinarian's office at 8:30 this morning, and got an excellent bit of advice from them. Since pup 4 is so confused about suckling, we can use an eye-dropper-like apparatus to squirt a few drops into his mouth. If he at least knows to swallow, there's hope for him.

We're using an old needle-less syringe that we've used to give kitties their liquid medicine. It seems to work great - and pup 4 knows to swallow. He was getting positively frisky earlier this morning/afternoon, under the care of John Ivens. I just went and fed him and checked on everyone - they all seem to be doing OK.

Aftermath - Pupdate 3a

Still no interest in formula from pup 4. But he's moving around pretty well, as are the other two pups. Roxie seems fairly relaxed and happy also.

Soon I will have to sleep. John Ivens has already volunteered to take the next shift with the pups!

Aftermath Pupdate 3

T=6am

All pups are still amongst the living, and pup 4 feels pretty strong when he's awake and trying to move - so that's good. Gotta see if he'll take formula this morning - he's still not nursing properly.

Aftermath Pupdate 2

T=3:30am

Pup 4 is still suckling a little, if he gets lots of help and encouragement. Which he is getting - both from Roxie and me. Which is the good news. They told us at the vets that he had some blood in his poo, but I hadn't seen any until this feeding. He pooped (yay!), but the bad news is that it was pretty bloody (ack!).

He only eats tiny amounts, and I'm having no luck at all getting him to really latch on and nurse. He won't drink the formula, no matter what I try - but it seems like trying to feed him the formula is a trigger that gets him interested enough in food to get him to try to drink from mommy. Sprta. He's got a lot of problems.

He seems to not understand the whole principle behind suckling. He actively fails to find nipples - like, he passes them up and heads for some weird non-nipple spot on his mom or his brothers. Then once he gets a nipple, he doesn't really know what to do with it. On the plus side, the last couple of times I've checked on them, he's snuggling his mommy and not lying by himself off to the side, as he was at first. Mommy snuggling has got to be medicinal - right?

Maybe this is an artifact of that it's 3:30am, but I'm pessimistic about pup 4's chances. I'm not giving up on him, and I'm making sure to tell him that he's loved, and to hug him as much as I can. But it just seems like he's not functioning correctly on so many levels. And at this point, neither am I.

Next feeding - 6:00am. Next phone call to the veterinarian? I think the regular vet opens at 8...I'll be pestering them immediately. Emergency vets are never as good as real vets.

Aftermath Pupdate 1

T = 1:41am

Pup 4 still suckles a little, with lots of encouragement. Pups 2,3 seem to be doing great. Roxie seems to be doing great also. Next check: 3:00am.

Puppy Saga - the aftermath

I was able to get the puppy formula at the Wal-Mart, but I spent a *really, really* long time in the dumb check-out line, and so the trip took too long. Poor John had done all the driving and shopping to this point, so it was my turn - but I was pretty tired and cranky.

The puppy formula has to be warmed to body temperature, and so I did that, and then we went upstairs to see how Roxie and the pups were doing. We'd left them in their room with food, water, and a clean blanket to lay on - and wanted to give them some time to settle in.

The healthy pups were curled up with Roxy, but pup 4 was lying by himself off to the side. So I scooped him up, and tried to get him to drink the formula. He really didn't seem to have any suckling response at all - he could take the nipple, but he wouldn't suck. So, I just messed with him for a while - petting him and trying to stimulate him into being more active. It didn't work to get him suckling the bottle, but I was able to get a few drops of formula on his little tongue, and then I put him by Roxie's bits.

Surprisingly, he suckled! Just a little - I don't know that he got enough milk down the hatch to make a difference, but he did suckle. I spent about 20 mins with them alternately messing with him with the bottle, petting and rubbing him all over, and then directing him to the good old mamma milk-supply. He suckled a little bit on a few separate occasions, and he even had a little poo (yay!).

So, where we are now is that I decided to let them be for another hour, and then try this whole thing again. It's almost time for me to go up there and see how they're doing! I'll let you know what happened on this visit after we're done...

Puppy Saga - the care plan

So, we were done at the emergency vet at 9. But then we had to drive home and try to pick up either (a) puppy milk replacement formula or (b) pedialyte - as we think we'll have to bottle-feed little pup 4. The milk replacement was the better option, as the pedialyte would only (maybe) get him through the night tonight if he continues to refuse to nurse.

Of course PetsMart was closed by the time we got there, though. But we decided to check and see if Target might have what we needed, since it was still before 10pm, and they were still open. He picked up baby bottles and nipples (turns out you can use human baby ones for little pups) - but they didn't have the puppy milk replacement. We thought about trying to use Infamil (human milk replacement), but that turns out to be a bad idea.

So we get home empty handed, except with a mom-dog and three puppies who can't be left outside anymore. I called up the e-vet to confirm that we couldn't use the Infamil, but they suggested we try a Wal-Mart pet section for the puppy milk. That meant that after we got Roxie and the pups settled in the dog room upstairs (and our actual doggies excluded from the top part of the yard, as well as the top part of the house), we still had a Wal-Mart excursion to do. By this time it was probably 10:30.

We also learned that puppies this young have to eat at least every 2-3 hours. So, we'll have at least one all-nighter ahead.

The care plan is this: watch pup 4 to see if he nurses, and if he doesn't, give him a bottle with puppy formula every 2 hrs or so until he does. Or maybe he just never will, and that'll mean that he did suffer brain damage or internal injury - and he won't make it. In thinking about pup 4 even during the first-day photo-shoot, it does seem he was acting kinda odd (as in the photo above). I wonder if he might have been pre-problematic. Anyway, we also need to nonitor Roxie and the other two pups to make sure they stay OK.